Comedian Ari Shaffir

Yesterday was the first day that it really felt like a festival here. The lobby was packed full of people I wanted to represent me and people that I didn’t recognize since I’v never had anyone represent me. Those people intimidated me a lot less because I didn’t want anything from them.

I sat downstairs during the day and talked to a bunch of comics as I waited in vain for some manager to come introduce himself. I felt like a fat chick at a school dance.

I did my Bubbling with Laughter show at 7 and it was a ton of fun. They gave me seven minutes and told me the crowd didn’t like dirty jokes. There were a bunch of old comics going up and I felt out of place. Marc Maron was the closest friend I could find on the show to talk to. I waited maybe 90 seconds before telling some story about a strip club. It went great.

Quit telling me crowds don’t like dirty material. I’m a professional comic. If you’re reading this you probably think I’m a good comic. And one thing I know how to do is make dirty material digestable to old and uptight people. It’s kind of what I do. My jokes suck, I mumble, I’m not nice to look at, and I’ve got no great story, but I’ve got stage presence.

The 2nd coolest thing that happened to me is that Rich Miller and Colleen told me that they’d finally let me headline Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, Texas. That’s one of my five favorite clubs in the country. Comedy Works in Denver, Cap City, DC Improv, Comedy Store Original Room, and I think I’m still looking for a fifth.

The coolest thing to happen to me is Paul and Steve from Broken Lizard introduced themselves to me. I’m a huge fan of their movies so for two days I kept staring at them from across the room like a fat chick at a school dance. Yeah. Uncomfortable fat chicks are funny to me. Anyway, when they said hi and already knew my name, I thought that was pretty fucking rad.

I’m having a good time here.