Comedian Ari Shaffir

Archive for March, 2009

Smoking is so fucking awesome

This is how powerful a nicotine addiction is. It’s been alm ost 2 years to the day that I had my last cigarette and I can’t stoop thinking about smoking. Ant hsi is all because I read an article about the negative effects of cigarette smoke on clothes and rugs. I want one soooooooo bad. I’ve already had 4 huge hits of NYC Kush that I got from the Cuban. That was just to give me the feeling of something so I could hold off the addiction for anothe r5 minutes. 
Now I’m too high to do anything. I was watching the Shield. And then I stopped to check my e-mail or something. I have an ice-pack on my leg. I don’t even remember when I put it on there. Jesus.

Oh, look at that, I don’t want a cigarette any more.

-Ari

p.s. OMG! I went to put the icepack back in the freezer and the microwave did that ding ding thing where it tells you forever that something is ready, so I looked inside and there was a a Stouffer’s stuffed pepper in there. It was still warm and everything! Who put that in there? You’re awesome, whoever you are! Because I totally want it. I totally want the Stouffer’s stuffed pepper. 

4:13 am on the night following March 10th, you’re turning out to be aaaaaaaallllright!
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