Comedian Ari Shaffir

I know I don’t like them. But why? There are a few that are ok, but the really overly Italian ones make me want to stab someone with a cannoli.

What is it about a Brooklyn style man that gets me so worked up? Oh yeah, they’re repugnant. I’m not talking about all Italians. I’m only talking about the ones who take waaaay to much pride in their Italian heritage, which is something they were born into and have done nothing to achieve. Not that you’d want to achieve such a horrible accent and lack of culture. They’re the reason the rest of the world hates America and the the rest of America hates New York.

If the terrorists really wanted to do some damage, they would just airdrop 10,000 guineas into Times Square and wait for the city to bury itself under a mountain of exposed chest hair, sausige, clearly false claims of mafia connections, and 98 dollar suits from Men’s Warehouse.

If anyone can help me understand a little better why I hate them so much, I’d love to hear it.